Though the machine is physically gone I can still hear it.
You have reached the Wesley residence on 9344 6656.You have 3 NEW MESSAGES.
Sure, at the time I knew that most of these messages would be from friends I had just seen in the playground, or telemarketers named Rob, but that moment of anticipation before pressing the play button through to the dopamine release that was attained after listening is one that I still miss.
Maybe you miss it too.
Or maybe I am alone in my love for the 1935 invention that is the answering machine.
It is in this space of loss and longing that fellow Sydney based filmmaker Ashleigh Pepper and I began to workshop Love in the Time of Objectophilia. Inspired by barbershop quartets, pop bands from the 1950s and 1960s, theatrical music videos and the beeps made from our various old-school devices that have since gone to the tech graveyard, Pepper and I decided to hire an acapella group. We began writing love songs for them to sing- but the object of desire in these songs is literally just that. These love songs are not dedicated to a Mary-Lou or our next-door neighbour named Bobby – they are for redundant oberge. Lyrics like “I guess we’ll have our moment though your time in the sun is gone” and “I’d be waiting all through the night to hear from you baby, my sweet Canon device” are earnestly sung to each item. And in many cases these feelings do not go unrequited.
There is a word for people who are romantically engaged with objects: an objectophiliac. I have sometimes wondered whether it is a term that applies to me. I have not reached a verdict.
Because maybe there’s a touch of the objectophiliac in all of us. Surely, I’m not the only one who has anthropomorphised an item by giving it a name; or felt a sense of loss when it finally broke. In an age of hyper capitalism where objects are not only mass made, but designed to become redundant so consumption can continue, this sense of “object mourning” is easily cultivated. Just last week I was in a discussion with a group of people and they were fondly reminiscing about their burner phones from yesteryear as though they were deceased loved ones.
Who knows? Maybe when Pepper and I fish out our old answering machines for this project there’ll be a little present for us; a time capsule from 2003. And it won’t be a message from Rob, or the snotty kid from Maths class. It will be a message from the machine itself. It might say-
You have one NEW MESSAGE.
We’ll get that same sense of anticipation. We’ll press play.
I love you too.
It will say .And when we hear this, we’ll finally know that, in love, we are truly not alone.